You Don't Mess with the Zohan

Really, don't mess with this movie

I'm not one to walk out on movies I've paid to see. It's not just the money—I just don't like leaving things unfinished. This one destroyed my natural hesitation.

I don't see a lot of movies outside the ones I take my kids to see (which, luckily, are generally ones I want to see too). This is only the second movie I've ever walked out on in my life, and the first one ever with my wife, Joan, by my side.

Joan and I both wanted to see this movie based on its trailer. We both enjoy some Adam Sandler films (The Wedding Singer, the TV edit of Happy Gilmore, 50 First Dates and Mr. Deeds) and Joan was especially interested because it showed him trying to make a switch to hair styling, a career she transitioned to in 2003(ish). It looked hilarious based on its trailer. So, on a date for our 17th wedding anniversary, we ambled over to a nearby theater to see it.

It's hard to describe how horribly awful this movie is. Not only does it misfire on most of the intended humor, it's incerdibly crude. The movie is laced with numerous scenes of Adam Sandler's bare butt. Yes, really. It's as if the screenwriters sat down together over the script and said to one another, "Well, we can't think of anything funny to say here, so let's just show Sandler's bare butt. That'll be funny." It wasn't funny the first time; it was just awkward. And its repetition didn't improve it. I could go on—such as railing on the scene of Zohan having sex with a woman as a "thank you" for her hospitality and the focus of Zohan's enormous crotch bulge used as a nearly constant (and tiring) sight gag—but I won't.

Joan and I were offended so much by this movie that somehow managed a PG-13 rating that we walked out about 45 minutes into it. We couldn't beleive that we were wasting our time watching such dreck. The $7.50 per ticket we spent on this film was a complete waste. By the time we left, we couldn't see that the film was heading anywhere. If it was headed somewhere, we were sure it was to someplace we didn't want to follow.

In short: Avoid this film at all costs. The trailer makes it look funny and smart. It is neither.

External links

• Official movie site
• You Don't Mess with the Zohan at the Internet Movie Database
• You Don't Mess with the Zohan at Rotten Tomatoes
• The movie rated at Kids in Mind
• You Don't Mess with the Zohan at Wikipedia